My adult life began at 16. I just had my first daughter and found myself in an abusive relationship but because I was in love I overlooked the signs and red flags. I hid my pain and lied about the physical evidence. I remember telling my mom the bruises around my neck were hickies. Oh the hurt and humiliation. But she never knew. She had no idea about the streets I wondered around barefoot from running away from him, the dark shadows I hid in as he walked by, the danger I endured behind closed doors, the night he fed me painkillers because I was punched in the chest so hard I couldn’t move for days, all the lies running through my head that I would tell the doctors so he wouldn’t get in trouble, all the secrets I had to hold in so we would appear happy. All the nights I cried in the shower so he wouldn’t know I was upset with him.
But as I would cry I would pray, pray for him and pray for a way out and god gave me opportunity to leave every time. God didn’t let me down once even though I left and came back several times. I would leave with nothing but two back packs full of my kids clothes but we were safe and happy. Sitting next to strangers in a small shelter, but we were happy. I’ve fought, cried, damn near lost my mind but I never gave up and I’m so blessed to say I’m here today with a roof over our heads we have food in the fridge and no more fear in our hearts.
I am so in love with the person I am today because the person I use to be in love with didn’t want it this way. I’m in love with ME and my life my choices. I am free God broke me free and I’m so blessed. I am now 23 with 3 children and a survivor of 2 years. I am an active supporter in domestic violence. My short term goal is to start filming my dv film in February called survivors and my long term goal is to be an advocate in a shelter. Me and my kids are happy. There is a light at the end of the tunnel. If I can leave at 21 and 8 months pregnant with my two daughters you can too!
When you are being abused God puts your blessings on hold because he knows your abuser will take away whatever he blessed you with. I know it’s scary but that’s why its called a leap of faith so make the choice to leave and not look back and embrace the abundance of life and happiness God has in store for you and flourish!
Follow OneLessSecret