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Jesus Understood My Pain

I am a survivor of childhood physical and sexual abuse, which occurred almost every day and night of my youth. I was extremely traumatized and struggled through my early years. Two things helped me survive; I went into a black cloud emotionally, when my body was being assaulted – it helped me to be safe and to endure the abuse. I also dis-associated from the horror of the abuse. I split into a day child, who went to...

I Allowed An Idiot To Define My Worth

When I was a little girl, he was everything. He was big. He was scary. He was a monster. He was a provider. He was an example. He was also my biggest critic, worst nightmare and my molestor. I managed to survive with what I thought was some sense of normalcy although I knew for some reason I hated myself by the time I was 14. He blamed me for my brother and sister’s bad grades. He told me I meant nothing inside my home...

I Kissed My Biggest Fear On The Lips

As a trained professional looking back on my own psychosexual development, I can clearly see now how I unconsciously attracted an inappropriate preacher, in addition to an alcoholic uncle who babysat me as a toddler and digitally penetrated me, numerous flashers, frotteurs, and suffered a rape attempt. I thought all this was normal. Raised in a Southern upper middle class family, my only sex education was that “You will...

My Father Didn’t Hurt Me On Purpose

I had an alcoholic father and each night we waited to see when he would come home.  If he didn’t arrive by a certain time we all knew he was going to return home drunk and hurt someone. I was the oldest of four and sat at the top of the stairs, shaking and waiting for my dad to enter the house. Someone had to protect my mother and brothers. Unfortunately, at a young age, children aren’t mature enough to understand that their...

I Told Our Friends He Was Hurting Me & He Sto...

I am currently in one marriage for 12 years with 3 children under 11. I love this man and the only thing that kept me from not moving away is the love we shared and still love each other which I would miss. Also I attend the same church and our kids are very happy there. This man is good all the time except when I do not agree to some decisions and counter it. I would argue with him and he would say emotionally hurting...